


It’s at times like this when want is, in matter of fact, need

by Mad_Hatt3r



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 11:37:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19744960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatt3r/pseuds/Mad_Hatt3r
Summary: “We’ll continue to have such fun with your girlfriend Director Sharpe until you do as instructed. Hopefully she’ll still be recognisable by the time you’ve made your decision”Mentions of torture and mild violence.





	It’s at times like this when want is, in matter of fact, need

**Author's Note:**

> Well I don't really know where this came from but it just all came rushing out and after a quick tidy up I thought it would be a shame not to post it. So here is my wonderful brains response to I could really do with some more sleep this week ... sigh

Ava sat down heavily in her chair, a large glass of scotch on the desk in front of her. She can feel a dull throbbing behind her eyes and she pinches the bridge of her nose trying to ward off the pain. She cannot afford to stop, she needs to be on top form to triumph and she’s starting to panic that their moment of opportunity is passing them by. 

Everything is taking longer than she thinks it should and she’s struggling to maintain her composure as Director of the Time Bureau when she is being targeted by such personal means. They want her to comply to their demands and they have gone after the one thing she has that holds any importance in her life other than her job. Sara. 

It doesn’t matter that she knows Sara is a trained Assassin who is quite capable of holding her own in both a physical fight and under emotional duress she still can’t shake the awful gut wrenching guilt that is making her feel nauseous. 

There’s a sharp knock at her door and she knocks back her drink in one gulp before giving her permission to enter. 

“Director Sharpe” 

Nate and Gary enter the room both of them looking serious and under strain, she imagines that she looks exactly the same. It’s been hard not just on her but the Legends as well, they are struggling to hold it together missing both Sara’s presence personally and professionally. 

“Please tell me you have good news gentleman” 

They both look at each other worriedly before turning back to face her and she exhales loudly. 

“Speak” 

“Gideon has tried tracking the Captain through her earpiece but it has been unsuccessful. We have summarised that they are using some sort of device to interfere with the tracking signals” 

Ava has to bite down hard on her tongue to stop the gasp of breath that wants to escape at the news. 

“Ok so what’s the next step”

“We are trying to obtain clues from the message that was issued to you but at the moment progress is slow” She nods and tries hard to keep the frustration out of her voice. “If you could keep up the pressure on the investigation team then I would be grateful. I have been called into a meeting and will not be available for the next couple of hours. Gary if you could please answer any calls and rearrange any meetings it would be much appreciated” 

They look at her strangely and Ava knows it’s because she’s being overly formal but it’s the only way she can get through this without showing any sort of weakness. She won’t cry, not now, she’s terrified that if she starts she won’t stop.

“Of course Director” 

Gary, so eager to please, is out of the office back to his station before she can even dismiss him. Nate however fixes her with a sympathetic stare and she resolutely avoids his gaze, as she feels her eyes begin to burn. 

“She’s a survivor Director” 

She laughs but it’s strangled, sounding almost like a bark but she nods forcing a smile across her face. 

“That she is Nate ... that she is” 

“Have faith she’ll be causing them hell and it won’t be long until we’re organising the rescue” 

Ava nods and tries to return Nate’s reassuring smile she doesn’t know how successful she is but Nate nods his head in reply before making a swift exit. Once she’s sure she’s alone again she locks her door before settling back before her laptop. Finding the email that started this whole horrendous episode Ava clicks the video link and tries to hold back the strangled gasp that escapes when Sara’s face appears on the screen. 

She barely registers the words coming from the electronically distorted voice; she already knows what’s being said, has a typed manuscript printed out on her desk, all she can focus on is Sara. She’s tied to a metal chair in the middle of a dark wet room. Her ankles have been fixed to the chair’s front legs and her arms are behind her back. Her clothes are damp and torn in places, smudges of blood and dirt are prevalent. There’s blood in those blonde locks she loves to run her hand through and there’s a nasty gash across her forehead which Ava just knows would require stitches. One eye is blackened and her lip is bruised and split but the defiance in her eyes is unmistakable. It gives Ava hope when all she wants to do is weep for her injured girlfriend. 

_“24 hours Captain Lance I must say I’m impressed by your resilience”_

_“So what exactly is it that I have done to deserve this lovely vacation from my busy schedule?”_

_“You little bird? Why nothing at all”_

_Confusion flashes across Sara’s face, Ava can almost see the cogs turning in her brain as she tries to work out just what exactly is going on._

_“Your precious girlfriend on the other hand well that’s a whole other story”_

Sara’s eyes widen slightly and Ava feels the guilt wash over her again like a tidal wave. Knowing it’s her fault that Sara is being held captive is eating away at her, twisting her gut into knots. The video goes quiet and Ava’s body tenses as it comes towards the end, she knows whats going to happen and she digs her fingernails into her palm hard. The hooded assailant steps forward as they slam their fist into Sara’s stomach and then into her face. Sara’s head snaps to the side and she spits blood onto the floor as she wheezes and Ava bites back a sob. 

_We’ll continue to have such fun with your girlfriend Director Sharpe until you do as instructed. Hopefully she’ll still be recognisable by the time you’ve made your decision_

* * *

“Nate tell me you’ve got something?” 

She was sent a second video almost 43 minutes ago and she’s struggling to remain calm. Whoever these people are know Sara’s past and they are using it to torture her in the most cruel of ways. The video had been 15 minutes long and looking at Sara on the screen had caused bile to build in the back of her throat. The fear in her eyes had been clear for Ava to see and her hands had shook as she watched on helplessly. Still fixed to the chair, Sara had been forced backwards, a rag shoved into her mouth as water had been poured repeatedly over her head. 

_Waterboarding: water torture designed to evoke the instinctive fear of drowning._

They were the only words that had accompanied the video and after Ava had read them she had not been able to stop a tear from falling. Sara had survived the sinking of the Gambit and the Amazo but the near death experiences had left their scars both physically and emotionally. By the end of the video Sara had been gasping for breath with tears in her eyes as her body trembled uncontrollably. 

“We have managed to confirm that the emails have been sent in 2019 current time and from somewhere within the United States. We’re getting closer Director it’s just a matter of time” 

_What shall we do to your little canary next Director Sharpe? Shall we make her sing?_

That distorted voice rang out loudly into the room causing them all to wince. The time stamp on the video had been approximately 2 hours before receipt, they had concluded that whatever hell they had planned next Sara was more than likely currently enduring. It made her stomach clench tight as the icy fear crept through her veins. The images her mind was conjuring were not helping and she was beginning to crumble. 

“We need a location” 

“Director our team and the legends are working as quickly as they can what more can we do?” 

“You have until the next video comes in and if we don’t have any further leads I’m going to have to consider conceding to their-“ 

“You can’t!” 

“I can and I will!” 

She stands up on her feet in fury, drawing herself to her full height she watches as Nate cowers before her rage. 

“We have to do something to end this because I can’t sit here doing nothing while the woman I love is being tortured! At this rate she won’t survive and I won’t lose Sara I won’t!” 

She’s breathing heavily and when she takes a deep breath she notices that Ray and Zari have entered the room the former looking at her with pride in his gentle features. 

“Well said Director” 

“Th.. thank you” 

“But hopefully it will not come to that we are delving deeper into tracking the I.P address, we’re getting there Ava it shouldn’t be too long now” 

Ray smiles his bright beaming smile while Zari nods encouragingly and Ava finds herself smiling along with them even though the fear almost feels as if it’s choking her. 

“The Legends are ready to leave at a moments notice Director to complete the rescue mission as soon as the order is given” 

“Thank you Zari” 

Her voice is surprisingly gentle but she really is grateful for their support. They are Sara’s family and she knows they will be as worried as she is which gives her a strange sense of comfort.

“Report back to me in 1 hour” 

* * *

The third video had only been 3 minutes and 42 seconds long but it had been more than enough for Ava. With the subject being **Danger Danger High Voltage** she had forced herself to breath in and out through the internal panic. Ray had offered to watch the video first but she had shook her head, she owed it to Sara to be strong and this was the only way she could be right now. 

The song by Electric Six had blared through the speakers as she watched Sara strapped down with electrodes fixed to her temples, screaming in agony as the hooded perpetrator had intermittently sent waves of electricity though her convulsing body. By the end of the video montage Sara’s face was wet with tears, her breath was coming in sharp pants and Ava could tell she was fighting to remain conscious. 

_What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger ... (?)_

_Stand down Director your girlfriend begs you_

The faceless being stared into the camera as the words flashed on the screen underneath where she could picture cold cruel eyes and Ava couldn’t not control the hatred that was building inside of her. 

“We think it’s just one man” She looks at Ray inclining her head for him to continue but Nate takes over gesturing to the video stills he loads on the screen in front of her. 

“Or woman” 

“Hmm I would be surprised” She raises her eyebrows at Ray who quickly holds up his hands “I mean based on their physical appearance and characteristics not their strength! Come on I know how badass women can be I’ve seen you and Sara in action” Appeased she motions for them to continue. 

“It seems a pretty elaborate camera set up so I’m leaning towards someone who is more than familiar with surveillance maybe as part of their job? The torture methods he’s implying are carefully thought of to inspire fear as well as pain. They are also not too physically demanding to inflict. This makes me think that they are not as strong as they would like us to think” 

“We also think it maybe someone Sara knows or a least recognises” 

This makes Ava sit up straight in her chair her mind going a mile a minute trying to think of people she knows who could possibly want her to stand down as Director. It’s a lost cause she has had no complaints regarding her or how she conducts herself and she feels blind sided by the attack. Zari had offered the opinion that this person wanted to destabilise the time bureau but she is replaceable if it meant time and history where under threat then she becomes easily expendable. 

“Otherwise I don’t know how they would have overcome Sara. Let’s face it not many people can” 

“We’ve also managed to track down a barcode for a make of sealant that was picked up in a still of the video. We had already deduced that Sara is being held in some sort of workshop so we are currently tracking down a purchase list so that we can cross examine that product batch with a delivery address” 

Ava nods her head once before turning back to focus on the screen in front of her. This one had been sent after only a 57 minute wait. It indicates that they are getting desperate which means Sara is running out of time. 

“How many possible locations do you have so far?” 

“Four Director” 

“Send out agents immediately” 

“But we can’t be certain-“ 

“Gary we need to find Sara as soon as possible so the quicker our agents start eliminating possibilities the better” 

Gary looks at her with conflict clear in his eyes as he hesitates, she knows she’s going against protocol but she needs to do this. 

“Gary? Please this is Sara” 

It Ray who pleads softly and Ava has never been more grateful for his kind heart. 

“Of course, I’m on it Director Sharpe”

* * *

“It’s alright Director, it’s alright” 

She can’t focus past the awful whine of white noise that’s ringing in her ears. She’s vaguely aware that she’s just been violently sick in front of two of her subordinates but she cannot find it in herself to care. There’s a cold bottle of water being pressed into her hand and when she looks up Gary is at her side guiding her into her private bathroom. 

“I’ll be back in one moment” 

By the time her mind has processed the words Gary is back with a clean suit in his hands, she almost asks why but when she looks down she grimaces noticing the vomit that is staining her clothes. She doesn’t know how she’s gets changed, she can barely do up the buttons. Her hands are shaking so badly that awkwardly Gary has to help her do the last two because she just can’t.

“She’s still alive and we’re closing in, any minute now we are going to have that location and that nasty piece of work is going down”

“I feel like such an idiot” 

Gary goes to place a hand on her arm but she moves backwards needing to try and regain control. 

“Your reaction to what you saw is warranted Director Sharpe no one is going to think of any less of you, I certainly don’t” 

She fights down the nausea and the tears that are pricking at her eyes and takes a deep calming breath. She is Director of the Time Bureau and Sara needs her to act as such, needs her to be calm, collected and in control. 

“Let’s go” 

Gary doesn’t look at all convinced but he doesn’t argue instead just silently follows her back to her office. When she enters the room Nate and Ray look at her with concern and for a moment she feels scrutinised. She looks to her left and her stomach rolls again at the image of a devastated Sara sobbing on her knees. 

“We think we’ve found the location” 

“Right let’s go” 

Nate and Ray look at each other nervously and she knows what they are going to say her posture already becoming defensive. 

“No, no way you can’t expect me to just sit here!” 

“Director Sharpe he could still be there it’s too much of a risk to let you go” 

It’s Gary who speaks and she cannot fault his logic. If the situation were reversed she would say exactly the same thing but the whine of panic in her ears is stopping her from thinking rationally. 

“He wanted you Director and after everything Sara’s already gone through don’t you think you should be waiting for her return safely out of harms way?” 

Her cheeks burn with guilt and she nods averting her eyes. She watches as Ray suits up, both he and Nate are talking hurriedly and she knows they are going over the plan. The rest of the legends are waiting on standby and it’s Zari who will be interim Captain. They look to her one last time and she nods her head once steel in her voice as she issues her command. 

“Bring her home” 

Once they have left Gary moves so that he is standing as close as he can without touching her and she knows it’s his way of showing support. It brings a lump to her throat, he’s become her friend and she values him more than he probably knows. 

“I will deal with Agent Smith on his arrest” 

“Thank you” 

She doesn’t think she can face the man who before today had just been another work colleague. He had always seemed so amiable, quiet, hard working she would never have expected this. 

The latest email had shown him unmasked both herself and Gary had been dumbfounded as he had calmly walked into shot not a hint of remorse in his features. When she had first heard his warped confession Ava had felt sick to her stomach, what he followed with had been even worse.

_“Why Ava?”_

_Sara’s breathing is harsh and Ava knows her ribs have either been cracked or broken it makes her seethe with anger that someone can be so callous to another person._

_“We have a common interest Captain Lance, tell me why do you love the Director?”_

_Ava watches as Sara furrows her brow she can tell she’s deciding whether or not to humour the man intent on torturing her. Eventually she replies a soft smile slowly spreading across her face._

_“She’s everything that you could ever want in a partner. She's brilliant, kind, thoughtful, the best girlfriend you could ever wish for and I hope she's by my side for a very long time even though I don’t deserve her”_

_“Well that’s something else we can agree on. Director Sharpe is the perfect woman you are not worthy to even breathe the same air”_

_“She’s not the perfect woman”_

_Ava draws in a sharp breath as Agent Smith brings his boot to Sara’s ribs the resounding crack she hears in response makes her hands shake as Sara wheezes desperately._

_“She is perfect in every way!”_

_“No she ... isn’t but ... I wouldn’t ... have her ... any other ... way”_

_Ava no longer cares that the tears that have been stubbornly kept at bay are now falling down her cheeks. Sara knows how she feels about being a clone, the fear that she’s just another manufactured being with nothing of her own to distinguish her from the rest. But Sara always laughs and tells her at least three reasons for why she isn’t perfect, why she isn’t just one of thousands programmed to be equal._

_“You shouldn’t have her at all! Why? Why would she pick someone like you when she could have had someone like me?!”_

_Sara doesn’t reply and Ava’s grateful for a moment there’s nothing to heard apart from Sara’s heavy breathing and Ava prays that this is all there is to see and hear._

_“I loved her. We started our Time Bureau journey together and she was nice to me, she would always smile and talk and she helped me when I needed it”_

_“If you love her why put her through watching this”_

_Agent Smith shakes his head “Loved, past tense, I thought we were friends that we could become something more but then she started to distance herself as she progressed. I supported her though, I even wrote my own letter of recommendation to our senior agent praising her work ethic. But_ _after everything I did for her she turned her back on me and became friends with the very people we despised!” He points a finger at her accusingly his eyes wild “And you, you poisoned her mind and she changed she wasn’t my Ava anymore she was just another hapless soul who sold out at the whim of the Legends, lost herself because Captain Sara Lance showed a bit of interest. Well both she and I deserve better than that!”_

_He’s breathing heavily now and Ava can’t stop her body from shaking at his rabid confession. She can barely recall their conversations they had been so brief, her making polite small talk, she never would have guessed this is how he had felt all these years._

_“Well little bird-“_

_“Stop calling me that!”_

_Sara snaps her tone cold but Agent Smith just laughs._

_“As I was saying little bird your girlfriend isn’t playing ball no matter how hard I try and keep her under control and as much as it pains me to admit it her team is gaining the upper hand. So before I take my leave how about we have one last little bit of fun?”_

_Before Ava can begin to worry about what she’s about to witness a figure appears in shot and she holds her breath watching as Sara too is appraising the new arrival. They are dressed from head to toe in black their head is covered by a hood and they are wearing gloves. Nothing is given away by their attire the person could be man, woman, alien, robot she cannot tell._

_“Right let’s see how well you fair against my lackey here. The aim of the game is simple you win I’ll let you leave, if you lose you die”_

_It’s a bitter fight Ava can hardly watch, wincing at every contact but she forces herself to study the battle that’s playing out in front of her. They are evenly matched each strike is countered, the force of their blows equal and Ava’s heart is in her mouth as she watches as both opponents desperately try to gain the upper hand. So drawn into the fight she doesn’t hear as Ray yells in triumph while looking at the other monitor all she can do is watch what’s unfolding in front of her. It’s almost hypnotising to watch and it reminds Ava of the first time she and Sara had fought the day she had tried to arrest her infuriating girlfriend. As the thought passes her mind a cold chill settles deep into her bones, her insides freezing as her eyes widen in realisation._

_“No...”_

_There’s a snap and a triumphant yell and she’s pulled back into the present as the hooded figure falls to the floor it’s neck broken, its body falling at the feet of its victor. Sara’s face is alight in triumph and she whirls around to face her captor who is looking at her with a sickening smile on his face._

_“Congratulations little bird you are victorious”_

_Ava can still feel the nausea rising as Agent Smith loads a hand gun with one bullet and places it onto the table next to him. Taking a second gun from his holster he levels the barrel at Sara ignoring her scoff of anger as he does._

_“I knew you were lying you bastard! Go on then kill me you fucker and have done with it i’m done playing!”_

_He shakes his head his sinister smile on show now that he no longer cares about masking his appearance._

_“Sara, Sara the gun is my gift to you a way to make up for the pain I have caused if you will”_

_Sara looks at him with narrowed eyes as her tormentor walks away from her._

_“Unmask your assailant Sara and then you may leave”_

_He’s gone within a blink of an eye and Ava watches with her heart pounding as cautiously Sara moves over to the prone form that’s splayed out on the floor. She watches as Sara turns her opponents body so that it’s lying on its back before she swiftly whips the hood from its face. A strangled cry echoes into the room as Sara staggers backwards anguish etched in every line of her face. She shakes her head over and over before she falls to her knees gathering up the body in her arms as she sobs desperately her shoulders heaving with the effort._

_“No! No, no, no, please no, no, no”_

_Ava looks into her own cold dead eyes and vomits._

After she has waved off Nate, Ray and shooed Gary from her office it’s almost torture sitting and waiting, her heart is in her mouth praying that Sara stays sitting exactly where she is. The last communication had been a link to a live video feed so she’s watching her girlfriend in real time. Ava has never thought of Sara as being suicidal but everyone has their limits and as Sara’s sobs become silent tears her expression becoming closed off Ava worries. 

She hopes that the legends arrive quickly, they don’t know Sara’s precise location it’s a large warehouse complex and they have at least three units to search. All she can do is watch her love as she falls apart and it’s breaking her heart. 

“Hang on babe, hang on” 

She doesn’t know how many minutes have passed her hand is pressed to the screen almost as if she hopes Sara can sense her presence but she knows she can’t. Knows from the continuous stream of apologies which is whispered from her inconsolable girlfriend. Sara’s head turns and Ava thinks her team have arrived until her gaze settles on the gun still lying on the table in the middle of the room. Her heart jumps up into her mouth as Sara’s head cocks to one side as though she considering her options. 

“Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare” 

She rarely swears but she’s frightened and desperately worried about what Sara is contemplating. 

“Nate?” 

“We’ve cleared two Director no signs yet” 

“I need you to hurry” 

Her tone is stricken and Nate doesn’t question just responds in affirmative. It’s all quiet for what is almost five minutes, she’s counting every second, until Sara moves. Her face is wet with tears as she closes the clones eyes before gently setting her down on the floor. It’s almost painful to watch her girlfriend tend to the clone carefully placing her so that she looks as though she’s merely sleeping. Sara presses one last kiss to the clones forehead before, with great difficulty, she hauls herself upright. 

“Sara!”

Just as she reaches the table the Legends burst in running towards their Captain before they notice the gun in her hand. 

“It’s just us Sara everything’s going to be alright now” 

Sara lets out a bark of laughter which sounds so raw it makes Ava swallow hard, the sound bringing a lump to her throat. 

“Nothing’s alright Ray”

She looks at him her usually bright blue eyes have dulled to a blue grey and Ray’s forehead creases with anguish as tears pour silently down her cheeks. It’s probably the most emotion Sara has ever shown in front of her team. 

“It never will be again” 

Ava gasps her hand reaching out to the screen as Sara’s eyes roll backwards and her body crumples to the ground. Before she hits the hard, wet floor Ray catches her cradling her awkwardly in his hold as Nate takes the gun. 

“Ray?!” 

“I’m going to take her straight to Gideon see you there Director” 

* * *

The sitting and waiting is wearing her down even though she’s trying to keep positive, at least this time Sara is at her side. She’s still unconscious and Gideon cannot tell her when she will awaken. Her girlfriend has been put through immense physical and emotional stress and Gideon will not put a timeframe on her recovery. The physical injuries she is currently working through but they all know there is nothing the AI can do to heal Sara’s mind.

Ava sighs running a hand over her face. Her tired eyes scan the monitors looking for a change that she knows deep down won’t be there. The lights have been dimmed, it’s the middle of the night and she is exhausted. Gary is covering with strict instructions that unless it is an emergency of catastrophic proportions then she is in no way to be disturbed. All the league members have sat with her at some point through the last 6 hours unwilling to leave her side and wanting to be there for their Captain. Zari had been the last but Ava had sent her on her way as her eyes had began to droop, the exhaustion clear to see. 

She knows she should sleep and eat, so far all she has managed to do is drink the water that Ray had dutifully brought with him, the sandwich has remained untouched. Sleep, although her body is crying out for her to put her head back and rest her mind will simply not allow it. She needs to be by Sara’s side when she wakes, won’t let Sara spend another moment thinking she has her girlfriend’s death on her hands. 

She’s drifting in and out until suddenly she’s wide awake, one of Sara’s fingers is twitching in her palm. Shaking herself Ava stands up so that she can clearly see her girlfriends face whose brow is currently furrowed and her jaw is set. 

“Gideon?” 

“Captain Lance has entered the REM stage of sleep Director” 

“So she’s dreaming?” 

“Yes” 

Sara continues to twitch, the frown never leaving her face it’s obvious that whatever she is dreaming about is giving her some distress and it bothers Ava that there’s nothing she can do. For what feels like hours she strokes her thumb up and down Sara’s trying to soothe her with her presence but it doesn’t seem to help. 

“Will she wake up?” 

Before Gideon can reply Sara’s eyes snap open her mouth parting in a silent gasp as she moves upwards fighting to sit upright before Ava can restrain her. 

“Hey, hey you’re alright babe you’re alright” 

Sara winces heavily her breath catching and Gideon gives her a large shot of pain relief as Ava tries to keep her still in the chair. 

“Don’t struggle Gideon's still healing you” 

Those blue eyes that she loves so much latch onto her own and Ava smiles in relief as Sara’s body relaxes under her touch and the effect of the drugs. 

“Hey my love” 

She watches intently as Sara sluggishly brings her hand to cup her cheek smiling softly in awe before her eyes water and her smile turns sorrowful. 

“You’re so beautiful” 

Ava nuzzles into the warm palm that’s holding onto her with such care, pressing a kiss to the centre. 

“I never deserved you” 

Before Ava can reply Sara carries on the tears now falling down her cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry I never wanted to hurt you” 

“You haven’t babe, I’m here and I’m fine” 

“Don’t want to go back to sleep, means you’ll be gone” 

Her voice is slurring as the pain relief takes hold her eyes fluttering as she struggles to stay awake. 

“No babe I’m here waiting for you-” 

“Everybody I love leaves me and it’s all my fault” 

Ava presses a kiss to her girlfriends forehead clutching her hand in her own tightly as though the harder she squeezes the more Sara will believe her. 

“I’m here I promise babe and I’ll be here when you wake up Sara” 

Sara doesn’t reply, her eyes slide shut and Ava chokes back a sob as she sits back down her forehead coming to rest at Sara’s side. Her heart is aching and she wants to scream if it means the heaviness in her chest will ease. 

“Director the Captain is healing as expected please try not to worry” 

Ava nods her head “Do you think she’ll wake up again soon?” 

“Probably not, I have given her a large dose of high strength pain relief I am almost certain she will be out for a while now” 

Ava just nods again exhaustion making it difficult to do much else as she forces herself to sit back into the chair. 

“Director if you want to try and get some rest I will make sure you are informed immediately of any change in the Captain's vitals” 

Ava hesitates her mind in conflict arguing the pros and cons of the outcome to each decision. 

“You can use the Captain's quarters that way I can contact you privately over the intercom. I can also screen any time bureau calls and only transfer them through if they are deemed urgent” 

Ava falters slightly although Gideon has warmed up to her considerably since she and Sara had become serious this was a whole new level of service the A.I. was willing to provide. 

“I know how much you mean to each other Director” 

In the end the battle for sleep wins out and after being promised again by Gideon that she will be notified immediately Ava finally gives in retreating sluggishly to Sara's room. Wrapping her arms around Sara’s pillow she inhales the scent that’s uniquely Sara and finally allows herself to cry. 

* * *

Ava is furious as she stalks back to her office cursing under her breath she can feel the eyes of the other agents on her but she does not care. The meeting that had been deemed as urgent and unmissable by the Pentagon had been a complete waste of her time. The full mission debrief could have waited or been done by Gary but no the Pentagon had insisted. No new details had been provided and nobody would say what would happen with Agent Smith apart from that he was in max security awaiting sentencing. She had been pulled away from Sara’s bedside for this and her heart had been in her mouth since she had left the Waverider. 

Arriving back into her office she is greeted by a nervous looking Gary who is wringing his hands as he looks at with apprehension clear in his features. 

“What is it Gary?” 

“You need to return to the Waverider” 

Her heart drops from her chest into her stomach. She opens her mouth but the words won’t come out and she feels as though she’s choking. 

“She’s awake” 

The relief that washes over her makes her momentarily light headed and she smiles before she narrows her gaze. 

“So why are you looking like this?” She gestures at his fidgeting “What’s happened?” 

“Captain Lance has locked herself in her quarters. She’s refusing to listen, consuming large quantities of whisky and refusing help. Gideon requested your presence immediately before she was placed offline” 

The moment Gary finishes talking Ava opens a portal the Waverider she cannot seem to access Sara’s bedroom so she goes to the bridge. Stepping into the room she’s met with Ray and Zari who both let out sighs of relief as they look to her. 

“You need to go to Sara” 

She doesn’t stop to chat, striding down the hallway to the Captain's quarters she calls for Gideon relieved when the A.I. answers to the call. 

“I’ve been ordered to instigate no contact with Time Bureau” 

“Well its a good job that I’m just here in my role of worried girlfriend” 

“She has also instructed that I do not allow any of her team access to her quarters” 

“I’m not a member of the team Gideon” 

Ava holds her breath hoping that her reasoning will allow Gideon to enable her access to Sara. 

“You are correct Miss Sharpe” 

She’s standing in front of the door now, can feel the nerves building in her stomach it’s worry mixed with anticipation she just wants to see Sara, wants to wrap her in her arms and hold her close. 

The door slides open and Ava steps through, hesitantly her eyes scan the room and when they land on Sara her stomach flips. Her girlfriend is curled up on the bed Ava’s pillow in her arms her face buried into its depths. Her body is trembling slightly and Ava’s heart aches for her. 

“I told Gideon no visitors” 

Her voice is flat and hoarse, devoid of emotion and showing the strain from tears. 

“I didn’t think you would mind if it was me” 

She watches as Sara’s body becomes rigid, she wants to reach out and touch her but Ava doesn’t dare. It’s never a wise move to startle an ex assassin. 

“No it can’t be” 

Her girlfriend does not move, the trembling has stopped replaced with muscles so taught Ava wants to rub away the tension it looks so painful. 

“Babe?” 

She doesn’t want to cry but already she can feel the tell tale wetness gathering in her eyes. Slowly Sara shifts so that she’s sitting upwards her feet settling on the floor but she doesn’t look up. Her long blonde hair frames her face so that Ava cannot see her gorgeous blue eyes. 

“Sara...” 

Her voice breaks but she cannot help it after thinking the love of her life had been snatched away from her all she wants to do is wrap Sara in her arms and never let go. Finally those blue eyes she loves so much meet her own and Ava smiles wildly. 

“Hey” 

“No you’re not real, you can’t be real. No one can access 2213 there will never be anymore Ava's and mine..” 

Sara's voice hitches and she shakes her head, standing and moving away from the bed before she presses herself against the wall. 

“My Ava's dead because I killed her” 

The pain and self loathing in Sara’s voice is overwhelming and Ava isn’t having it. Moving forwards she settles her hands on Sara’s shoulders ignoring the way her girlfriend trembles under her grip. 

“It’s me Sara I promise it’s me Ava Sharpe, Director of the Time Bureau, Girlfriend of one Sara Lance”

Sara’s eyes meet hers her stare hard, almost unforgiving and Ava squeezes her shoulders reassuringly. 

“He had a clone, he managed to override the system and get access to 2213. He obtained one of the new model AVAs and brought it back with him” 

She tries not to shudder but she can’t help the tremble of revulsion that’s rips through her at the thought of Agent Green and his own personal version of her. 

“You killed a clone babe, he wanted you to use that gun so you would take your own life thinking your girlfriend had died at your hands and I would have been left to live a life without you” 

Sara blinks slowly as tears build in her eyes. Slowly she brings one hand up to cup Ava’s cheek, her touch unsure and hesitant. 

“Is it really you?” 

There’s hope now but it’s only slight Sara too scared to have it dashed away. Ava turns her head and presses a loving kiss to the centre of her palm. 

“Gideon?” 

“Director Sharpe is telling the truth Captain. Ava Sharpe time bureau clone number twelve is standing right in front of you. She has not been replaced or upgraded this is ‘Your Ava’ as you would say” 

“Come here Sara” 

Ava opens her arms wide and she’s relieved when her girlfriend staggers forward falling into her hold. Her chin is cupped by warm hands before Sara’s lips meet hers in a bruising kiss. She can feel Sara’s tears on her cheeks and the desperation as her lips meld with her own over and over. Wrapping her arms tight Ava breathes in deeply the scent of Sara washing over her leaving her light headed. When the need for oxygen becomes to much she pulls Sara into her embrace her tears wetting her shirt but Ava just holds her tighter. 

“Shhh shh don’t cry babe” 

She runs her hand up and down Sara’s back trying to calm her down. In the end she walks forward, keeping Sara close, maneuvering them onto Sara’s bed so that she can pull her girlfriend flush to her body. As they settle Sara tucks her face into her neck her hand coming to rest over her heart. 

“I thought I’d lost you” 

It’s breathed out across her skin and Ava feels the tears well in her eyes “I was scared I was gonna lose you too babe” 

“I can’t lose anyone else and especially not you” 

She can’t reply to that, doesn’t even know how to begin, so she just holds Sara content in the feeling of her having her close. Ava doesn’t know how long they have lay there happy enough in the silence. She almost thinks that Sara has fallen asleep but every so often she lets out a soft sigh letting Ava know she’s still awake. Ava knows she must be tired, after everything Agent Smith put her through, although healed by Gideon she knows Sara needs proper rest to recover. 

“Shall we get in bed babe?” 

“What time is it?” 

Ava squints at her watch “Just after eight” 

“And you want to go to bed?” 

“I’m tired, I’m guessing your tired, who cares if it’s early” 

Sara doesn’t answer but she moves changing into her tee and shorts while Ava pulls on her own vest top, discarding her bureau suit grateful to be out of the restrictive clothing. They slide wordlessly under the covers, wrapping into each others hold and Gideon dims the lights without instruction. 

“I’m so sorry about Agent Smith” Ava’s breath hitches but she won’t cry it wouldn’t be fair “I’m sorry it took us so long to find you” 

Sara shifts and Ava thinks that she’s pulling away, she would deserve it but it doesn’t help the hollow feeling that creeps over her. She’s taken aback when Sara slides her leg over her hips so that she straddling her waist. 

“It wasn’t your fault” 

“But-“ 

“Ava he was a twisted fucker and what he did wasn’t your fault” 

“But he wanted me” 

“And I would never have let him have you” Sara’s tone is stern her eyes bright and clear “I would go through it all over again if it meant you stay safe Ava” 

Ava’s eyes burn with tears and she presses her lips to Sara’s “God I love you, I love you so much” 

They kiss lazily just relishing in the comfort from each other. Ava feels it so strongly that her chest feels tight like her heart has grown so much there isn’t quite enough room for the amount of love she feels. Sara’s warm weight against her is a comfort after the anxiety ridden 72 hours without her and she presses a final kiss to her lips. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Yes” Ava quirks an eyebrow she won’t be brushed off and Sara rolls her eyes but there’s a small smile playing at the corner of her lips “Physically I’m just tired I’m not in any pain I promise” 

“Emotionally?” 

Sara looks away and sighs, Ava moves her arms upwards and rubs her hands from Sara’s shoulders down her back in slow smooth strokes trying to rub away the tension she can feel in the muscles under her fingertips. 

“Better now you’re here with me” Sara’s voice hitches and Ava presses a soft kiss to her temple. 

“I think the nightmares are going to be making an appearance” 

“Well I’ll be here to help you chase them away” 

Sara presses a kiss to her pulse point and Ava knows that as much as she is willing to say on the matter. She does not push after the day they have had she isn’t going to cause Sara anymore distress by making her talk about her torture. 

“Always?” 

“I promise” 

And she means with that with every fibre of her being. Ava never thought she would find love, working hard to move up the ranks of the Time Bureau did not leave much time for dating, and after finding out that she was clone she never thought this remarkable woman in her arms would still want to build a life with her. 

Her girlfriend and the life they are slowly building together is easily the most important thing to her and she knows she would be lost without the wonderful woman curled up pressed into her side. 

“Sleep babe, I’m here” 

_Always_

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! Hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
